the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Someone shit on the floor
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
