ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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