You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All the doctor said was why
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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