why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
