I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
