You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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