i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize