Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
