HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
