What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
