WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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