And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
