he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
