no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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