Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
