Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
