once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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