Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
