My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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