the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my being single is dangerous.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
