woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
