we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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