So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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