All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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