It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
