The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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