It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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