just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize