I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
