So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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