marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Farmville is her only friend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
