Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
