Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so let's talk penis.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
