belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
