He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
