She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
