my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
