What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
