i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
