Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
