I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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