i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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