And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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