wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
