We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
