I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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