do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
