I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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