Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
