i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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