having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
