You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
