I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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