im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
