worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize