I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
