Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All the doctor said was why
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
