cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
