I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
