If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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