I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
