If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
