I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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