just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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