I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
where are you?
Hypothermia
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
