I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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