im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
